On Summer

The past few weeks we've been busy enjoying summer.  August brought the beginning of summer for Allie Ann as her neck brace came off.



We spent every spare minute at the pool enjoying the freedom of being young and healthy.  We even got Allison's bike fixed up only to realize that she is too tall for her small bike.

 I saw that my youngest daughter has grown up.  When I looked to my oldest, I realized that she is a hair to be being half way to twenty.

I'm reminded of the Robert Frost poem, "Nothing Gold Can Stay"

Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf,
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day
Nothing gold can stay. 

As summer turns to fall, I see the girls age a year.  The growth always astounds me in the Fall, when nature is the most golden.

 

Nature's first green is gold, Her hardest hue to hold. Her early leaf's a flower; But only so an hour. Then leaf subsides to leaf. So Eden sank to grief, So dawn goes down to day. Nothing gold can stay. - See more at: http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/19977#sthash.XiFHu3wv.dpuf

Nature's first green is gold, Her hardest hue to hold. Her early leaf's a flower; But only so an hour. Then leaf subsides to leaf. So Eden sank to grief, So dawn goes down to day. Nothing gold can stay. - See more at: http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/19977#sthash.XiFHu3wv.dpuf

Mother's Day

Mother's Day ended up being an incredible day of celebration.  Allie could walk.  Allie would be able to swim again.  Allie would be able to skip, dance, and run.  Allie can do all of these things.  

In twelve weeks.

Saturday the 11th, My mom and I took the my girls and their cousin Mariah to Grand Forks to open gym.  We went to the food court, and afterwards, mom took Natalie to shop, and I took Allie and Mariah to tumble.

I told them to have fun, and I went upstairs to watch. I remember looking at the weather on my phone and looking up to see Allison crying and heading to the door.

The rest is history.  Saturday afternoon was spent in the E.R. waiting for tests and decisions.  Allie had an M.R.I., and we waited some more.  Eventually, it was decided that Allie would take Life Flight to Children's Hospital of Minnesota, Minneapolis for consultation.  Allie had fractured her neck.

I would like to say that I was an excellent mother that day.  I'd like to say that I didn't panic and cry.  I'd like to say that I had faith all along that she'd be okay.  I'd like to say that I calmed her down instead of reaching for my mom.  

But that wouldn't be the case.

The Life Flight crew did that for me.  By the time Allie was in the ambulance, ready to be moved to the airport, they had her calm and giggling.  I will forever be grateful for that.

After what seemed to be a long transport and transfer to the hospital.  I'll never forget how fast the neurosurgeon was in his diagnosis and prognosis.  Allie would be fine.  She wouldn't need surgery.  She would need to wear her brace for twelve weeks.  She would spend the night in I.C.U. for observation, and she would be sent home the next day -

On Mother's Day.  

Mother's Day ended up being an incredible day of celebration.  Allie could walk.  Allie would be able to swim again.  Allie would be able to skip, dance, and run.  Allie can do all of these things.  

E is for Eggs

Never in my life did I expect that we would have chickens.  I never thought I would be collecting eggs in the spring and chasing chickens out of my garage.  Never in my life did I think I would wake up to the sound of a rooster crowing in the morning.

I still can't believe that I live in the country.  I grew up in town.  We had neighbors I cut across their lawns.  We played "Kick-the-Can-Alley" and "Tag".  Of course, I was the weird kid who always started newspapers and circuses, parades and lemondade stands.

I'm sure my girls long for town and playing "Kick-the-Can".  I'm sure they'd like to hang with their friends instead of collecting eggs.  To tell you the truth, I'm glad that they live out in the country.  I'm glad they can be by themselves once in awhile and skip down the driveway if they want.  And, I never have to worry about lemonade stands.

Autobiography A - Z: A is for Allison

My Practical English class is writing their Autobiography -- an Alphabetic Biography - This will be something they can put out at their graduations and think about what's important to their lives.  Maybe it'll be one last chance for  me to get to know them even better.  As they write their autobiographies, I will write mine.

A is for Allison

Allison  Ann is my second born.   One of the first things I noticed about her is that she is very smiley, and she likes to snuggle.  When the nurses and daddy took her away to bathe, she cried and cried until she was returned to momma.  She hasn't liked to bathe ever since!

Allison is very flexible.  Yesterday, she called out to me; "Mom look!"  She was doing the splits up against the wall.  You read that right.  One foot was on the floor, and the other pointed to the ceiling.  Crazy girl.  Allie's dream is to go to the Olympics as a gymnast.  Well, that has been what she has talked nonstop about since last summer when she met the neighbor-lady's granddaughter who is in gymnastics in Fargo.  She and her cousin have set up a gym in her aunt's basement. They have beanbags and sleeping bags to cushion their falls.

Allison loves apple pie and Chicken Belden.  She loves fashion, and her favorite store is Justice. My Allie is a dreamer.  She is full of love.  She is confident and won't let anyone bully anyone else in her presence.  She has been rumored to stick up to the big kids on the playground.  No one gets in her way. She sticks up for the underdog.  She is my Allie.

Inappropriate

There came a time when a mom could no longer sing along with her favorite songs, especially inappropriate songs  by Prince or Kiss.  I could listen to the music.  I just could not sing to the music.  The girls would not notice inappropriate lyrics if I didn't point them out.

Now, the time has come when Nat has started pouring over my queue on my Kindle and points to songs.

"Mom, don't you know what this song is about."

"Uhhhh, no?"  I say to a song by The Wanted.  "What's wrong with this one?"  I turn it on.

"Mom!"  She says to whenever something Inappropriate comes on pointing to my Kindle.

"I don't get it.  What's so bad about that?"

She rolls her eyes.  She's not cluing me in.

Only she doesn't know that I know.

And I pretend to be a bit more innocent for her sake.

Having the Answers

When I told the girls that their grandma had colon cancer, the first question Allison had for me was if it was the same as Grandma Ann's.  Grandma Ann is a friend of Allison's grandma who has Acute Myeloid Leukemia.  "No no Allison - Grandma Vick's cancer isn't as fierce as Grandma Ann's.  Grandma Vick will got to Grand Forks for her chemo.  She'll probably get a bit sick but not as much as Grandma Ann."

Four days later, Missi had a doctor's appointment.  Missi had told me she thought she had MDS or Leukemia. When she had called that Tuesday, she told me her instincts were right.  She would be going in for a bone marrow biopsy to have the exact accurate diagnosis.  She found it was Acute Myeloid Leukemia.  Allison asked me if it was like Grandma Ann's cancer. 

I sighed "Yes."  We both cried.

Since then, it's been hard answering questions.  We don't know any definite answers.  We didn't know when Missi would lose her hair.  We don't know when Missi will come home or when we will go and see her.  We don't know when Missi will have her bone marrow transplant or who will be her match.  Kids like answers.  They want to know what is coming ahead.  We all need to learn to live one day at a time.

It's really had to not know the answers and still reassure Missi's children as well as my own.

Last night, Ethan (Missi's oldest) asked me why his mom just couldn't have her treatment in Grand Forks.  Why did his mom have to be so far away?

I actually had an answer for this.  I told him about how there was a shortage of the drug used to treat his mom's cancer, and Mayo was the best and closest place for his mom to get her treatment.  Rochester is eight hours away.  It is a long drive for any child. 

Mom will go in for her consult on Monday.  She'll be starting the next phase of her journey.  The kids wonder if their grandma will lose her hair like their mom/aunt did.  I don't have the answer to that question either.

Not knowing is a hard lesson to learn.

Easter Fun

We had a great Easter.  The girls and I headed to church - ohhhh we were ten minutes late - but we got there.  The only available seating was in the back in the fellowship hall.  We sat next to Mark and the kids.  In fact there weren't even any hymn books left.

Usually, our church services start at 10:45 during the school year and 9:00 during the summer.  Easter - we have two services 7:00 and 10:00 with some sort of breakfast in between.   Every Easter, there is a family or two who are late.  This year - there were about five families who came into church who gave me a very confused look.  "Don't worry - it happens every Easter - you're in time for communion" I give them a hug - because of course, they come in at five different times - We all smile - because it's confusing - we're used to the routine - and laugh at ourselves because change is odd. 

This Easter, we decided to go to the waterpark.  We all chipped in some money and bought a birthday package.  Mark's grandpa just had a birthday, so we put "Happy Birthday Great-Grandpa" on the cake.  The kids ate pizza, sloppy joes, and chips. 

We played all day long. 

We lazied ourselves in the lazy river. We squealed down the slides. We relaxed in the hot tub.

And oh!  We ate cake!

Leprechauns are Scary Things

I never knew they had leprechauns in the South. 

In Kindergarten, our girls a treated to a unit on leprechauns.  They make traps for this feisty green guy in the classroom.  Sometimes, the leprechaun will make a little mess while the kids are in gym.  Sometimes, the leprechaun will mix up crayon boxes.

My girls have always taken these little green guys seriously.  Natalie had taken this too seriously so where it was at a point I had to go with her to the bathroom.  She'd wake up in the middle of the night and cry for fear of the leprechaun.

I was at a loss.  Eventually, I broke down and told her that Jason built a force field around our house. (Ever the scientist)  And every night, we turn it on.  This force field protects us from leprechauns, ghosts, aliens, robbers, kidnappers, but lets mice in.  (Jason hadn't perfected it yet.)
- I guess I had to fight fire with fire - or imagination with imagination anyways.

Leperchauns

Right now as we speak Alison is quickly running to her dad, "DAD!  DAD!  THE LUCKY CHARMS ARE GONE!" 

Allie's plan to catch a leprechaun was foiled.



Awwww  I'm going to miss that one day.

Gifts and Strengths

I love that in this day and age more school professionals understand that despite a learning irregularity, kids with reading problems are a phenomenal children waiting to discover their strengths. 

Remember Theo? - Allie's gift part 2

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xxYjKDxYH2U

This was the sort of reaction I had when Allie was diagnosed, too.  It may seem weird - but it helps knowing - Diagnoses is the first step in helping kids with dyslexia.

The second step is to stress to teachers - "Chill - it's going to take some patience."

That step can be done with an IEP (Individual Education Plan) or 504 (Health plan).  Not all kids with a specific learning disability qualify for an IEP - or Special Education.  Sound crazy?  Well, yeah life is crazy.  A 504 plan can be used to specifically tell teachers to chill.

Now, if you're not an educator - you might be confused.  Can't teachers just recommend to parents that kids need special ed?  Well - neither teachers nor parents can stick kids in special ed.  It takes a lot of paper work.

First of all, there's still a stigma in special ed.  A teacher can not be just sure how a parent will react to the suggestion of testing for special ed - and before a teacher or a principal can utter those words to a parent, there must be six weeks of documentation.  Without the six weeks of documentation, teachers can not utter a word to parents about testing for special ed according to Minnesota Law. What sort of documentation?

Hmmm - as a teacher, I'd observe avoidance of work, copying from other kids' homework, daydreaming, poor grammatical mechanics, and that sort of thing.

As a teacher, I know that this is a touchy thing.  So, I'd also make sure to put a bunch of positive things down - because guess what?  I know that special ed just means finding another way to make a brilliant child learn in spite of a learning disorder.  Not all teachers are able to communicate that idea well;  it's intimidating.

Friday, I called the school and requested that my daughter be tested to receive special services.  There was a sigh of relief on the other end of the phone because - well - maybe there was six weeks of documentation already - and now, they didn't have to worry about my reaction.

Gifts and Strengths

This past week, I brought my youngest to an eye specialist.  She was officially diagnosed with Mild Dyslexia.  We've been suspecting this diagnosis for the past year and a half - and actually since preschool.

When my peanut was in preschool, I was a paraprofessional in the classroom.  I noticed that she wanted nothing to do with the alphabet.  I don't ever remember her singing the alphabet song.  I remember singing it to her, and she was majorly ticked that I was singing to her.

In the preschool room, we had foam letters.  I took the foam letters and had various teachers and paras hold the letters S was for Stacy.  B for Mrs. Bertilrud.  W for Wanda. M for Margaret.  You get the idea - I had Allison take the pictures.  At first, she loved it.  But eventually, she was angry and frustrated.

I took her to the eye doctor.

At the time, my oldest daughter was in eye therapy for double vision.  The same eye doctor, Dr. Bieberdorf, checked my Allison over.

"I get what you're saying - she's young and smart.  We'll see what happens as she grows into reading.  She's still young."

Learning to read was a struggle.  Thankfully, Allison always had patient teachers.  My girl is very charming.  As we got her NWEA tests back, I was a little exasperated. They didn't seem to reflect her quick humor and story telling abilities.  (NWEAs are used in our school district to help teachers adjust their teaching and find out if students are at grade level)

Again, I took her to Dr. B.  "She's still young.  A lot of kids don't take off reading until they are even 8 or 9."

In second grade, Allison had one of my childhood friends as her teacher.  I remember going to that parent teacher conference as Allison cleaned out her desk.  Mrs. K. showed me all of Allie's positive reports...  And then, she took out her NWEAs.  She was an entire grade behind.

Tears rolled down my cheeks.  I whispered to my childhood friend...  " I don't want Allison to know I'm crying."  She grabbed a kleenex and slipped it to me.
 

We went back to Dr. B.  She had more testing.  At that time, he and his assistant tested her and suggested there was some type of specific learning disability.  We talked about that learning disability being a slight dyslexia - but also - you may know this about me - I really hate No Child Left Behind as a teacher - but specifically as a parent.

Schools expect more from students and specifically because of No Child Left Behind.  Everyday, kids are pushed to read at higher levels and learn more advanced math concepts at an early age.  Teachers most expect more from students and don't have the luxury of  "It'll click, eventually."

Last year, Allison's teachers were specifically good at seeing her as a whole person.  I knew that they wouldn't tisk tisk every time she took a spelling test.  Ten words suited her just fine.  A lot of times, Allie would get 8 out of 10 on those tests.  School was a at a good pace for her.  She read.  She did her math.  Life was good.

Something happens in third grade though.  This is the year that the state starts screening kids' learning.  This is the first year of MCAs.  Every year, kids will be tested every Spring to see if they are on target.  At this point, teachers worry.   Their district must pass these tests or they don't make their AYP (Annual Yearly Progress).  If the school does not make AYP, there are financial ramifications to the district.  So, you can see why a teacher may worry.

This past year, there's been more pressure.  Third grade's tough.  As the year goes on, I see vast improvement on reading and math skills. But guess what?  That improvement isn't enough for NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND.

So, I called Dr.B. We brought her in for more testing on Thursday.  Dr. B. diagnosed her with Mild Dyslexia.  He sat her down and explained that he was color blind.  He likened dyslexia to being color blind - something one can't control - it's just is what it is.

He also explained to her that people with dyslexia are also very gifted in the right brain areas of learning -
 

• athletic ability
• artistic ability 
• musical ability
• mechanical ability
• people skills
• 3-D visual-spatial skills
• vivid imagination
• intuition
• creative, global thinking
• curiosity 

(I got this from http://www.dys-add.com/symptoms.html#gifts)

Yep - this fits Allie Ann to a tee.

Dr. B. also told Allison that she'd need lots of patience for her teachers; "You're going to need to remember that you're going to be smarter than a lot of your teachers."

Reading -

I'm finding that my girls enjoy reading - YAY!!!!  We read every night. 

Not because No Child Left Behind has made teachers harass kids into reading constantly, but because I read and always read to them since they were babies.

I'm finding that my children enjoy learning not because every day they are given reading drills and told how to fill in the bubbles ..  But because we tell them stories about Anne Frank or Crazy Horse - or they watch their dad experiment with his beehives or the beer bubbling in the basement. To me, this is more important than any achievement  in a standardized test. 

My Scare.

This afternoon, my mom treated the girls and I to a movie -  we saw Gnomio and Juliet.   Afterward, we ran into to Target to pick up some Valentines.  Nat asked to stay in the car to listen to the radio.  I didn't see a problem with it.  She's twelve.

I told her to lock all the doors and headed into the store.

When I came back with my mom, Allison, and my niece, I couldn't find the car where I had thought I had parked it.

It wasn't that I couldn't find the car that scared me.  It was that I couldn't find Natalie.

I turned to mom - "I'm scared."

I had just seen a car very similar to mine leave the parking long.

My heart squeezed real tight.  I tried not to think of Dru Sjodin or Julie Holmquist. (Two young women, from the area, who lost their lives to a horrific deaths.)

I ran throughout the parking lot just to be sure one last time before I called 911.

Two rows down, I saw a door open.  Natalie waved to me.  "Hey mom... what took you so long?"

Times I Was a Bad Parent

I could write a whole blog of my nightmarish parenting skills.  If anyone knew what a bad parent I could be, I wonder what they'd think of me.

Sigh -

I hope I've become a better parent.  I cringe desperately at my mistakes.

Just Go Home.

Last night, I decided to get the girls checked out in urgent care.  After 48 hours of fighting 104 temps with Allison, I started to worry that she had strep throat.  I brought Natalie along because they had both been coughing seriously WITH. OUT. COVERING. THEIR MOUTHS.   sighh....

Well...I think the girls will survive.  Allie has a sinus infection on top of the flu and Nat?  Who know's?  She has fever spikes- So we're at home again today.

After our visit to urgent care, I stopped at Walmart to get some supplies for the girls.  Jason stayed in the car while I was to sprint through the store grabbing Jello and Gaterade.  As I was by the apples, I noticed I stepped in something.

A little girl puked.

Oh the poor thing.

The parents calmly brought her to the bathroom while I noted to myself to change my pants when I got home.

As I piled supplies in to my cart, I noticed both parents in Walmart looking at DVD players and various stereo equipment.  The little girl sat quietly in the grocery cart waiting for her parents to finish shopping.

I wanted to scream at them...

"Just go home.  Grab your Gaterade and go home."

or

"Just bring her to the car so she doesn't puke on my shoes again."

(As I write this, I can think of a time when I stayed instead of going home.  And boy oh boy - I'm not sure if I'll share that story.)

Sick Kids

Last Night, we didn't sleep much.  Allie crawled into bed with us.  I knew she hadn't been feeling well so I snuggled up to her until she quit coughing.  Only thing, when she quit coughing, she started humming in her sleep.  After a while, she added grinding teeth to the humming.

Every so often, I'd notice Jason's eyes were open.

"Have you ever heard anyone hum in their sleep?"

"Now I have."

I got up and got the thermometer.  103.8.

Oh man.

Influenza.......

Don't these kids ever wash their hands?

So, I got some cool water and Ibuprofen.  Jason got a cool wash cloth and gave her a soft sponge bath.

I called a sub.

Natalie had stayed home for three days during her last bout of Influenza and missed  her ortho appointment.  So, guess what?  Her appointment is scheduled for this morning.

So - dad gets in on the action.  He stays home with Allison while I'll bring Natalie to her appointment and get my sub notes to school (it's on the way to the dentist).  When I get home, dad will go back to work.   I'll stay home with Allison and snuggle up watching movies with her.


When the girls were younger, this happened fairly frequently.  It seemed they got every little bug that went around.  As they got older, they started REALLY taking my advice about washing their hands - and now, they rarely get sick.  So - there's a plus to kids growing up - they wash their hands.

Yesterday, when I brought Allison to the doctor, the doc told me she thought Allie might be coming down with influenza since Nat had just had it.  I'd know within the next twelve hours.  If her temp was low, and she had the sniffles, her advice was to go ahead and send her to school.  If it climbed to 101 - 102, it was probably influenza and to keep her home. 

Afterwards, I mentioned to the doctor how hard it was when the girls were sick because it seemed like I was checking on "every-little-thing"  just to get the go ahead to go back to work.  She got that.  It's not easy being a working parent.  I'm lucky to work for the type of business that believes in kids - kids are their business after all, right?  If my kids are sick, I won't get an eye-roll or a tongue lashing.  I can just concentrate on being a mom.

Isn't Anyone Else Worried?

I watched this commercial while I was catching up on Season 2 of Glee tonight.  I was all excited... Cute Baby, doing cute things, a great song by Melanie...

And the last five or ten seconds of the commercial I did a  HUH?





There's a reason that  babywalkers are banned in Canada.    I just keep thinking that the baby is going to fall off this deck....  Why are the parents just casually standing there all casual taking pictures sending them to Aunt Susan???

So, You're Giving My Kid a D?

Don't worry.

It's just an equation.  I know my child is bright and they tried hard in your class and for objective reasons, the equation didn't give them an A.

I know my child is a class-A act.  She's brilliant.  Yes,  I know  her test scores show that she only obtained about 67% of the points assigned to the work you've given her, but I'm glad we both agree that is only based on nine weeks of class work and that learning outside the classroom is important too.

So, don't worry.  I know you worry about my child.  I know that you are not out to get her and would love if all students could earn the A they deserve - and yet look, there are As - in music, math, and writing. 

I know that other parents pressure you when they get their child's report card to change the grade more to their liking - and gripe about it to other parents. 

But don't worry - that parent won't be me.

Piano

Hooray hooray for me!  Natalie is back in piano after a six month sabbatical!   She's found her way back to the ivories!

Last Spring, she told me that she was done taking piano lessons.  She would still play the saxophone but wanted to take voice lessons instead of playing the piano.

I was so bummed, but I had to think - Was this my dream for Nat?  Or did she actually have a choice in how she spent some of her time.

I let her grow as a person.

Grumble grumble grumble ...


And Allison was still in piano lessons.

A few weeks ago, Natalie started sitting back at the piano.  She started playing the first few bars of "Moonlight Sonata".  Oh Hooray for me!

She tagged along with Allison's lesson today and decided to take up lessons again.  She missed it!

I really did too.