Youth is not Wasted On the Young...

Recently, a young lady asked me if I was jealous of her because she was half my age.  It took all patience and God-Loving Control not to slap her.

 Instead, I bit my tongue for five seconds and said,  "No, I'm in the best part of my life"


 I know my husband loves me.
  I have two lovely daughters.
 Never again will I have to worry about morning sickness, first job interviews, or what I want to be when I grow up. 
I have my dream job, dream man, and dream home.
 I've lived through my mother's cancer, my sister's cancer, and my daughter's broken neck.
And I never want to live through that again...
I have the confidence of a forty-year-old woman,
and I'm not foolish enough to think I know it all.
I have read enough teen journal entries in my life to know
that I don't want to go back there.
And I'm honored to know that I can be a comfort to these students.

"Am I jealous that I'm old enough to be your mother?  No.  I'm a forty-year old woman.  I'm proud."

Biutiful

This weekend J-Bird and I decided to go on a date night, so I sent the girls over to Grandma Vic's and went online to see what's happen' in Fargo, North Dakota. 

"Hey, hey, hey..." I thought,   "maybe there's something exciting going on at the Fargo Theater."

So, I found Biutiful was playing.

 We spent the day poking around Herbergers, Barnes and Noble, and Harbor Freight.   Because theses are our interests.  Sales on clothes, books and tools.

For awhile there, I lost Jason in Barnes and Nobel.   Every once in a while, I'd walk by the gardening section - I was sure that he'd end up there eventually.  Suddenly, I heard a woman ask where she may find books on building chicken coops - Ah ha!

So, yeah - that's about where I found him.


We settled into our room and headed off to the movie.  I was nervous - what if all the tickets were sold out?

Well...  turns out there were only two other people in the theater - foreign films aren't the biggest seller in the Northern Plains.

The movie was remarkable.  Javier Bardem was amazing.  I was completely lost in the story and agitated throughout the movie - I didn't know how this dying man would find peace or someone to take care of his children.  I hadn't considered how poorly illegal immigrants were treated.  I hadn't considered how complete their desperation was. And if those topics weren't enough to cover,  there was mental illness.  But mostly - forgiveness.

I had planned on making a Target run after the movie, but there are just some movies that are so hard to transition to normal life after watching.  And this was that type of movie. 

Sweet Land

Last night, I was ready for bed at 9:30. My jammies were on.  The covers were turned over.  I had my fuzzy socks on...  when I heard Jason call me...

"Hey Bobbi..."

The bed was so warm...

"Yes?"

"Roberta! Come here!"

I drug myself out of bed and looked at him...

"Yes?"

"Look"

He started a movie on Netflix.

And there on the screen was a farm - just like his grandmother's.   He started to laugh.

"The setting is Minnesota."

I looked at him and smiled.




I sat next to him, put my head on his shoulder and stayed up for two more hours.

When the movie was done, I had to find out everything about it.  The screen play is based on a short story from Will Weaver's Tombstone Made of Wheat.

No wonder.

Will Weaver is a professor at Bemidji State.  Only ninety miles from here.  In fact, he's been a big supporter of Poetry Out Loud

No wonder I loved the movie so much.

I survived!

Last March,  my principal came into my room and told me that I was being laid off.  My first reaction was very objective.  I knew that there were four English teachers at the high school and three of all other subjects.  I also knew that I was the last hired and there had been hints of financial difficulty.

My second reaction was anger. 

I wasn't sure who to be angry at.  So,  I was angry at the teacher who kept asking me if she could have my SMARTboard when I left.  I was angry at the teacher who was whining about having class the last hour of the day...  she wrote to mass e-mail to everyone "I feel like the bottom the barrel."  I wanted to write her back - and maybe I should have "I think the girl without a job is the bottom of the barrel."  I bit my tongue publicly and vented to a trusted co-worker.

My third reaction and hardest was sadness.  I was already missing the kids. I couldn't imagine my life without the kids in Fosston.  I really had no clue what to do without driving east every morning.

I'll have to tell you - my summer was amazing.  I worked at the ALC in Thief River Falls - and it's an amazing place.  I loved every minute of my experience there.  I know that if I had not been laid off, I never would have given the ALC a chance.

 So, I'm finding in a weird way that being laid off was a blessing?    I'm not sure how or what to share - but I'm just happy to know that there's a group of adults on the second floor of the district office who care about kids who need caring about - Le sigh - they are true heroes.

I spent many summer afternoons at the pool with my own girls.  I spent many evenings at the pool too.  I didn't do much housework - which is SO evident this fall.

The hardest day was the first day the girls went back to school.  Here's a cliche'  - the silence was so loud.  I didn't even know how to be.  I thought about calling my lovely husband and telling him that I was bored - but to tell you the truth, I hate people who are bored.

I went on facebook - for once I turned the chat button on.  I saw a childhood friend online.  She had been laid off of her non-teaching job in the winter of last year.  As a single mom, times have been rough for her.  She said that she only had two more months of unemployment and had went to a few interviews.  One interview, she had taken her son to Duluth and had slept in the car getting ready for the interview in a gas station bathroom.   When she got there, there were six other people being interviewed at the same time -  It was very intimidating.  She didn't get that job.

She pointed out to me how lucky I was to have a loving husband who made a decent living.  And of course, she is right.  I may have suffered a short personal crisis... but my family is still intact. And within that personal crisis,  I'm thinking that there's a lesson in there somewhere -

After all, I'm a teacher at heart.  There's always a lesson.

How I Met My Husband...

Eighteen years ago, I met Jason at a Plummer Dance.  He was sitting on the stair ledge right outside the door.  He had long blond-hair and engineer boots on with a leather motorcycle jacket.  My sister introduced us.  I thought for sure she was nuts because she thought we were perfect for each other.

I was more into boys from Spain who wore a red jean jacket with matching jeans.  What did Missi know anyways?
 
 I remember the first time Jason flirted with me.  I had dropped the letter "E" on the ground when I was putting up the "EVENTS FOR THE WEEK" bulletin board.  "Hey you dropped your E" he told me.  Wow - swept me off my feet!  We're talkin' sweet lips baby.

Eventually, I got over  Mr. Red Jeans.....  Jason and I became friends. He was the Math tutor at the learning center. Tina and I would go in to use our computers.... Jason would make me laugh.  I started wondering if I might have a crush on him.  Then, another girl confessed to me that she did. Well... that sealed the deal.  She couldn't have him - he was MINE!

Our first date we went to the movie Captain Ron  or was it Honeymoon in Vegas ? We don't remember. Our first dance was to Metallica's Nothing Else Matters or The Unforgiven.  We don't remember.  It wasn't Enter Sandman.  I know that for sure.  Hmmm? 

It's hard to believe we've been together for eighteen years.  Sometimes, it's even harder to believe that I fell for the guy with the motorcycle jacket and biker boots.

Christmas Shopping

I love to go Christmas Shopping. I love buying presents for other people. I love to think about them and think what they could use, what they love, and what I'd love for them to have. Earlier this month, I asked the girls what they wanted for Christmas.

Allison wanted an easy bake oven. Sure they seem fabulous - but - yeah... So I bought her some cake mixes, frosting, and sprinkles. Allie also wanted earings,a sewing kit, for barbie doll clothes, and a wii game. Nat bought Al earings. Santa bought her the sewing kit and the wii game. I bought her doll furniture for her doll house, some jeans and of course, pajamas.

Natalie wanted Art supplies. So I went to Michaels and did the best I could. Those supplies are spendy. I also bought her the cake mixes, frosting, and sprinkles, jeans, and jammies. Santa gave her the sewing kit and the new Harry Potter movie.

Jason wanted pocket ts and socks... Santa got him the socks. I got him pajama bottoms, pocket ts, and a nice shirt from Eddie Bauer.

While I was at Eddie Bauer- I noticed a beautiful red wool coat. I had been looking for a new winter coat - and there it was. And boy, did it look sharp on me. So into the bag it went. They even gave mea gift box. And there it was under the tree- from me to me.

I never knew wool could be so warm.

A Happy Couple

Yesterday, I spent the day in Fargo. I was browsing around JoAnn Fabric's with my mom when out of the corner of my eye I saw someone familiar. "Hmmm..." I thought. "That guy looks like Steve S. from grade school." But, I kept walking because I wasn't sure it was him, and I'm a little shy at times.

Every five years or so, I see Steve. He was a nice kid. Kind of shy. You know the type. I liked to aggravate him and poke his neck with my pencil. Why did I do that? Who knows. I remember him stealing my pencil once or twice, so eventually I stopped.

I went to the till to pay for my purchases, and a couple and their mom came up behind me. And then, I realized... It WAS Steve S.

I looked at him and smiled and asked "Are you Steve?"

And he smiled shyly and nodded and then introduced his wife.

And his wife was beautiful. And kind. And grandma showed me pictures of their babies. And I was SO happy for Steve because he deserved to be happy.

It's funny how you can meet your friends' spouses or significant others and sometimes, they'll make a bad impression. And you'll think, "Hey you prick get away from my friend." I mean... I really do think that. I try not to say anything because everyone wants to find out their S.O is a prick on their own...

But with Steve, I could see in a minute that he found someone who truly loved him. Steve had married a kindred spirit who was excited just to meet me because I had known Steve once when he was a child. And in that five minute exchange, my life seemed a little brighter because I knew one of my childhood friends had a good life and a kind wife.

I just realized...

I married Yosemite Sam






he he!!! Of course Jason is smarter... but this has been what he sounds like as we've been battling mosquitoes this week...

Secret to a Good Marriage...

Sense of Humor...

and the Bees...

Jason bought another swarm. Last year's swarm made it through the winter, but Jason found no trace of a queen. It was only a matter of time before the swarm would last without a queen.

Jason bought another swarm. When the bees arrived, he joyfully put them in their deluxe handmade hive and waited to hear the buzzing. They buzzed and made themselves at home. A few days later, Jason was upset with himself.

"Dang! I forgot to let out their queen."

By the time he realized this, it was too late. The freed queen died within a few days.

Jason called the company and ordered a new queen.

The queen arrived over Memorial Day weekend. Jbird rejoiced at the thought of his bees having a queen. He did his part to set the queen free and came back the next day to check on them.

Jason skipped, as he usually does to check on his bees.

There was something wrong. One of the hives did not buzz? What was the matter?

Evidently, that new queen had taken the swarm and ran errr... flew?

This infuriated Jason to no end. He imagined her plotting and undermining his authority... OH the agony of it all. Oh... the betrayal.

In all of Jason's reading, he had only heard of this happening once.

That night, as I tucked myself into bed. He climbed in beside me and whispered "If only I had paid the extra dollar to have the Queen's wings clipped."

Sorry ! I threw out your crap.

Last night as Jason was painting our fourth bedroom, he asked me to find his curling slides. Jason curls ... you know the sport. The slides fit on the bottom of his feet because ice just isn't slippery enough. Fear not. I have a lot of life insurance on this boy.

As I was looking for his slides, I went through many baskets of crap. Whenever I have company I spend lots of time putting things away, but there is always a basket of crap that I have no idea what to do with. I have about twenty baskets of crap.

I emptied basket upon basket looking for his slide hoping to find it. I decided some of my items in my crap basket had to go. I feel so guilty at my waste, but even a 3600 square foot house fills quickly.

I'm sorry I had to throw away the empty black bag with a strap. I don't know what it belongs to and or to whom it belongs.

I'm sorry I threw out the holiday ashtray you gave me. I don't smoke.

Sorry!

You know those really cute wicker placemats you gave me because they were taking up space in your kitchen? Gone.

Sorry!! I threw out the scraps of fabric I bought. I might need them one day.

Sorry! I threw out the embroidery thread that jams up my embroidery machine.

Sorry! I threw some quilting magazines away.

I hope you're no offended that I threw out the afgan I started making two years ago and forgot about until now.

Ummm... those jeans I was going to make a quilt with... you know the ones stacked in the living room. They're gone!

And all the forgotten lip glosses? Well. They're forgotten. They didn't even exist.

It's Thursday Night

It's Thursday night

J.Bird's making waffles for supper
Nat practices piano
Allison plays teacher
J.Bird grumbles because the house is a mess...
And me, I'm checking out my facebook.

Why I Talk to my Husband

Have you ever visited with your friend and then, suddenly realized they don't talk to their husband? Mistakenly, I assume that everyone gets married because they have a connection with their spouse. I assume that they have found someone in life that they want to cheer on.

Perhaps, they have found a true soul mate who shares everything with them and they have a common mind. Sometimes, I find a couple and wonder if they only got married because they thought their genes would produce the new Arian race? Or perhaps, they found the perfect wedding dress? It bothers me when I know more about someone's spouse than they do.

If I figure someone doesn't talk to their husband or wife, I decide right then and there, I'm not going to be friends with them. O.K. I know it's harsh. It's just, I have to wonder about them? Don't they ever think? Don't they have pillow talk? Don't they wonder what's crossing the mind of the person living parallel to them? Do they ever pass the ball and ask "What do ya know?"

When you're married to a person, you should have similar personal legends. If you don't, life's gonna be hard. If one of you wants to be a parent and the other doesn't, you have to realize this before you are married. Ta da! Some people can let their dream of having children go by the wayside. No matter what, you can't have one parent wanting kids and another not. The decision has to be mutual. Children will need the both of you.

I admire Miss K. She was in a relationship. She loved him very much. One day, she woke up, and realized he wasn't cut from the same cloth. She loved adventure. She wanted to travel. He wanted to buy a farm and stay there for the rest of her life. She knew that she was willing to live on the farm, but he wasn't willing to try the adventure. She cut her losses and traveled to Egypt before signing on to teach in Korea for a year.

J. Bird has a brain. He talks a lot about his passions. I listen. When I listen to the news, I can tell you; "Uh oh. Jason isn't going to like this." I know I won't have to ask his best friend what he thinks. I am Jason's best friend.

Jason knows when I'm thinking about my students. He listens patiently as I read passages from Catch 22. He knows my secret dreams for our children. He knows my secret fears too.

When I realize I know more about someone's spouse than they do, I see a red flag. I wonder if that person is shallow. I wonder what sort of person would listen to me if they don't even listen to their spouse.