Inappropriate

There came a time when a mom could no longer sing along with her favorite songs, especially inappropriate songs  by Prince or Kiss.  I could listen to the music.  I just could not sing to the music.  The girls would not notice inappropriate lyrics if I didn't point them out.

Now, the time has come when Nat has started pouring over my queue on my Kindle and points to songs.

"Mom, don't you know what this song is about."

"Uhhhh, no?"  I say to a song by The Wanted.  "What's wrong with this one?"  I turn it on.

"Mom!"  She says to whenever something Inappropriate comes on pointing to my Kindle.

"I don't get it.  What's so bad about that?"

She rolls her eyes.  She's not cluing me in.

Only she doesn't know that I know.

And I pretend to be a bit more innocent for her sake.

I had a Concussion?

At some point Monday, I bopped my head on a coat rack while visiting with another staff member.  All I remember is a smarting pop to my ear, and my co-worker asking me if I was okay.

"Yeah.. I think so."  I rubbed my ear packed up what I needed to do for the next day's class and went home.

Later that night, I brought the family to Natalie's Public Speaking Night for her Speech Team.  Those two hours deserve a whole blog post in its own as those kids gave an amazing performance.

I came home to an earache.  I didn't think I could take any pain medicine as I was to have a small medical procedure on Wednesday morning and thought I was told not to take anything four days before my procedure.  I went to bed early and had the WACKIEST DREAMS EVER.

For instance, I dreamed I was filling a dishwasher over and over again.

I dreamed my co-worker WAS DATING MY MOTHER-IN-LAW.

I dreamed that I was teaching school in the basement of a church.

After that wacky night, I awoke to a Smart Wool socks infomercial on our local radio groaning at the host's description of his Athlete's Foot.

The first thing I realized is that my ear hurt.  I stood up, put my robe on, and walked into the kitchen to make coffee.

"Holy Cat Chow"  I whispered.  My head was throbbing.  "I need coffee."

My stomach seemed upset so I took a few Tums and started a bath. 

In the bath, I realized I was too sick to go to school.

"Why is this pain happening to me?  Who around me had the stomach flu?  Why does my head and my ear hurt so bad?"  These thoughts tried to form in my spongy brain.  I called for Jason, but it hurt to say his name.

"Jason....  Jason..... Jason ... Jason"

He wasn't hearing me.  Finally,  (and sorry about this)  I rushed out of the bath to toss my cookies or Tumsss...  and Allison rushed to the bathroom door...

"Mom are you okay?"

"Kind of.. go get your dad."

"Dad,"  I heard Allison call to Jason.  "Mom is sick; she needs you."

Jason came to the bathroom and brought me to my room.  He helped me get dressed and took directions on how to call a sub in for my.  He met a co-worker at her home in Terrebonne to bring the Despicable Me and  Kung Fu Panda  DVDs to the sub.  Which of course, why were they watching these movies in Spanish?  That's another blog post for another day.

Meanwhile, Allison decided she was sick.  And she had all the same symptoms I had.  So, she had tears and everything.  Somewhere in my head,  I knew that she just had sympathy pains for me, but I was too tired to argue with her.

When Jason, finally, left for work, She went to her room with my kindle and played Angry Birds.

I got a phone call from the nurse regarding my surgery the next day.

She gave me some sort of instruction.  That went something like this;

"Number one, blah blahdy blah blahh blah."

and

"Get here  at atey thirty blah de blah blah."

She went on, and I listened carefully as I lay  on the couch.with the phone to me ear.  When she's finished, she asked if I have any questions.

"Yeah,  I do."  I braced myself to speak. "Can I have Tylenol?  I bunked my ear, and now, my head hurts so bad, and I've vomited like four times.  Tylenol sounds so good."

"Well," she answered.  "If you feel that you have the flu, please call ASAP so we can keep our schedule.  And yes, you may have Tylenol."

I hung up the phone and walk slowly into the kitchen and take two Tylenol.  I called my mom at home.  I wanted sympathy from someone.

"I think you need to go to the doctor."  she said.  "I don't think you'll be having surgery."

I called and told Amy my predicament.  Being the mother of a certifiable hypochondriac, I knew the receptionist on a first name  basis.

"Come in at 1:30,"  she said quietly.

I fell asleep for twenty minutes.  The phone rang.  The phone ringing brought the most pain in the world.  It was Amy.

"Uhhh  do you think you could come in, now.?"

Somehow, I made it to the doctor.  She told  me I had a concussion and to take the next few days off.  No procedure for me.  Also, she offered to call the scheduling nurse and explain my concussion.  I text my sister and husband and told them not to call me.  I called my mom and told her that Lois, the owner of the convenience store, was telling me something probably important about my nephew before my appointment.

"I think he's  been trying to buy energy drinks, mom...  I can't remember though."

I got home with my crackers, Tylenol, and Ginger Ale.  Jason came home for lunch and fed Allison....

I survived.  I slept most of the day and the next day, too.

Today, I will go to work, but don't ask me to do any math. My brain is still a bit spongy.