Have you ever visited with your friend and then, suddenly realized they don't talk to their husband? Mistakenly, I assume that everyone gets married because they have a connection with their spouse. I assume that they have found someone in life that they want to cheer on.
Perhaps, they have found a true soul mate who shares everything with them and they have a common mind. Sometimes, I find a couple and wonder if they only got married because they thought their genes would produce the new Arian race? Or perhaps, they found the perfect wedding dress? It bothers me when I know more about someone's spouse than they do.
If I figure someone doesn't talk to their husband or wife, I decide right then and there, I'm not going to be friends with them. O.K. I know it's harsh. It's just, I have to wonder about them? Don't they ever think? Don't they have pillow talk? Don't they wonder what's crossing the mind of the person living parallel to them? Do they ever pass the ball and ask "What do ya know?"
When you're married to a person, you should have similar personal legends. If you don't, life's gonna be hard. If one of you wants to be a parent and the other doesn't, you have to realize this before you are married. Ta da! Some people can let their dream of having children go by the wayside. No matter what, you can't have one parent wanting kids and another not. The decision has to be mutual. Children will need the both of you.
I admire Miss K. She was in a relationship. She loved him very much. One day, she woke up, and realized he wasn't cut from the same cloth. She loved adventure. She wanted to travel. He wanted to buy a farm and stay there for the rest of her life. She knew that she was willing to live on the farm, but he wasn't willing to try the adventure. She cut her losses and traveled to Egypt before signing on to teach in Korea for a year.
J. Bird has a brain. He talks a lot about his passions. I listen. When I listen to the news, I can tell you; "Uh oh. Jason isn't going to like this." I know I won't have to ask his best friend what he thinks. I am Jason's best friend.
Jason knows when I'm thinking about my students. He listens patiently as I read passages from Catch 22. He knows my secret dreams for our children. He knows my secret fears too.
When I realize I know more about someone's spouse than they do, I see a red flag. I wonder if that person is shallow. I wonder what sort of person would listen to me if they don't even listen to their spouse.
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