Friday, July 11, 2008

Equal Shared Care Parenting

The other day I was driving somewhere, and I actually was able to listen to NPR. Where was I driving and where were my kids? This, I can not tell you, but they could not have been with because they never let me listen to NPR as they beg for another station or talk talk talk whenever I try to listen to NPR.

On to the point, I was listening to this interview with a couple who do shared care parenting. It sounded good, but I knew better. These parents divide everything fifty-fifty. I can't help, but roll my eyes at that one. Yeah right. To me, there's nothing more annoying than two people constantly negotiating child care and work around the house.

Has anyone ever heard of just doing your best? How about if the diaper needs changing- just change it? Some of this shared care stuff just takes me back to childhood when my sister and I would make arrangements such as

You unload the dishwasher today

I unload the dishwasher tomorrow.

I know, I know. Most of my friends are probably remembering me back in my feminist days. Well, I'd still think I'm all about women's rights, but not in the case of micromanagement. And sure, most nights, I am the one who tucks the girls in to bed at night. I like that.

If one of the kids is sick, they usually call out for me. I like that.

Even though I have been the "mom" for the past nine and a half years, I see all that my husband has done too. I haven't been keeping score. I haven't made a list. I just see the times when I was in school and Jason stayed home with the girls when they had strep throat. I know about the times I went to MSUM and J. Bird was the one to tuck them in at night.

I think most people already do shared parenting. I don't think it has to be a list with initials assigned to every task. I think once we start keeping score we all lose.

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