Tuesday, September 14, 2010

I survived!

Last March,  my principal came into my room and told me that I was being laid off.  My first reaction was very objective.  I knew that there were four English teachers at the high school and three of all other subjects.  I also knew that I was the last hired and there had been hints of financial difficulty.

My second reaction was anger. 

I wasn't sure who to be angry at.  So,  I was angry at the teacher who kept asking me if she could have my SMARTboard when I left.  I was angry at the teacher who was whining about having class the last hour of the day...  she wrote to mass e-mail to everyone "I feel like the bottom the barrel."  I wanted to write her back - and maybe I should have "I think the girl without a job is the bottom of the barrel."  I bit my tongue publicly and vented to a trusted co-worker.

My third reaction and hardest was sadness.  I was already missing the kids. I couldn't imagine my life without the kids in Fosston.  I really had no clue what to do without driving east every morning.

I'll have to tell you - my summer was amazing.  I worked at the ALC in Thief River Falls - and it's an amazing place.  I loved every minute of my experience there.  I know that if I had not been laid off, I never would have given the ALC a chance.

 So, I'm finding in a weird way that being laid off was a blessing?    I'm not sure how or what to share - but I'm just happy to know that there's a group of adults on the second floor of the district office who care about kids who need caring about - Le sigh - they are true heroes.

I spent many summer afternoons at the pool with my own girls.  I spent many evenings at the pool too.  I didn't do much housework - which is SO evident this fall.

The hardest day was the first day the girls went back to school.  Here's a cliche'  - the silence was so loud.  I didn't even know how to be.  I thought about calling my lovely husband and telling him that I was bored - but to tell you the truth, I hate people who are bored.

I went on facebook - for once I turned the chat button on.  I saw a childhood friend online.  She had been laid off of her non-teaching job in the winter of last year.  As a single mom, times have been rough for her.  She said that she only had two more months of unemployment and had went to a few interviews.  One interview, she had taken her son to Duluth and had slept in the car getting ready for the interview in a gas station bathroom.   When she got there, there were six other people being interviewed at the same time -  It was very intimidating.  She didn't get that job.

She pointed out to me how lucky I was to have a loving husband who made a decent living.  And of course, she is right.  I may have suffered a short personal crisis... but my family is still intact. And within that personal crisis,  I'm thinking that there's a lesson in there somewhere -

After all, I'm a teacher at heart.  There's always a lesson.

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